Surviving a Heatwave in a Software House

Jack Simpson

Head of Marketing and Communications

Clapton is god

Humans are well known for our propensity to complain. Whether we’re losing our mind at a queue-jumper in the post office or cursing at the driving of bemused taxi drivers, we’re simply not comfortable being satisfied. Since leaving the food chain, and therefore no longer needing to be afraid of being eaten by sabre-tooth tigers, man has seemingly had to invent reasons to be upset about more trivial things such as the price of Freddos, delayed trains, and the weather.

This brings me to our topic of the day, which is my absolute inability to cope with the current heatwave that has besieged Greater Manchester.

The sun has not avoided Oldham, and I’ve been raising my eyebrows at the sight of my fellow Webbies turning up in shorts and sunglasses for the first time in recent memory. Short of camping in the server room, there isn’t much that can be done when a heatwave hits, but we’ve tried our best.

1: Iced coffee.
Now there are some dos and don’ts to the nuanced practice of making iced coffee, and one of them is: don’t put ice cubes in hot coffee. They will do absolutely nothing but immediately melt, diluting your coffee. But you already knew that. If you, like me, rarely make plans further than one hour in the future, you probably didn’t have the presence of mind to make some earlier, either. That’s OK though, you can go ahead and just buy some from Tesco, or do what I did and let your coffee go cold.

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2: Fans; All of the fans.
A surefire way to at least blow more warm air in your general direction is to employ the use of a trusty fan. Regrettably, I gave away a highly convenient desk fan to dev Nick Stafford earlier in the year (“because when will I ever need it?”). As such, I’ve had to share with my alcove buddy Dale. Still, it’s better than nothing.

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3: God bless the Tinnies.
Yes, though my future dentists will certainly wring their hands, there is one thing that we have plentiful supply of, and that’s ice cold soft drinks!

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4: Frozen joy.
So said Aristotle: When in doubt, eat a Mini-Milk. Or something to that effect. We all owe Naomi a massive high-five, after she went on an ice-cream pilgrimage earlier this week!

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5: Find jobs to do outdoors.
This is a little easier in the case of caretaker Andy, who has been happily engaged washing the company car and putting together picnic benches outside. For the devs, it may be a little trickier, but there’s nothing you can’t do with an XL ethernet cable and a sense of purpose.

 

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I look forward to reading this blog with nostalgic tears in my eyes come January. Stay safe! Don’t forget the suntan lotion.