Claire, One in a Million, or at Least in Eight

Jack Simpson

Head of Marketing and Communications

I know it was you, Fredo.

Claire started in March 2008, giving her two and a half years of full Web Applications experience. She is a Software Engineer who works in Support with Jeff, Shui and Rob to name a few. Currently she is the only female on the support team which makes her quite special and is also the fourth member of Services to be profiled.

MadonnaClaire is quite easy to talk to, which is probably why she is so suited to Support. Claire spends a lot of her time doing Releases with Jeff. I’m not that familiar with the whole ‘Release’ thing, so I had it explained. A release is anything a client has request as well as any bug fixes, basically anything that will affect someone’s system in some way. Releases make up such a big part of Claire’s daily routine that for Genius Day a couple weeks back she attempted to devise a Release Process to streamline things a bit. That day was the most amount of time Claire has been able to spend on the project but it is still something she hopes to complete, if for nothing else but her own sanity.

What’s an average day for Claire? Well she gets into the office, checks the releases due the following day, emails Project Managers, and then dives into the releases for the day. Claire really enjoys working in support; it’s a nice little mini-community with a flat hierarchy except for Jeff, Shui and Rob who have seniority.

Look how big the Georges have grownThis all seems fine and dandy, but is there a secret lurking in the dark? When it comes to special responsibilities, at first Claire said she didn’t have any. When I mentioned the Support pets, Sea Monkeys called George, Claire changed her tune and said yes, she was in charge of taking care of them while Chris was away. Well, Chris has been away all this week, so she was completely (and with special responsibility) in charge of them as we were speaking. I asked Claire what she thought of Rob’s reaction to the Sea Monkeys (he thinks they are kind of disgusting). She responded that that was a very mean thing to say. Since she has been in charge of the Sea Monkeys all week, does she have any sort of special relationship with them? ‘No, absolutely not, of course not. The Sea Monkeys were Chris’ idea, he bought them, I had nothing to do with it. They are cute though. But nope, no special relationship at all.’ Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Perhaps this extended attachment is meant to redeem Claire from past transgressions, like accidentally killing a defenceless bunny rabbit through neglect when she was growing up. Just a theory.

Claire is nothing if not competitive. There is currently a Guitar Hero competition in the office. After the first song Claire was the leading scorer in her Medium group. She has slipped into second place after the second song and is terrified she will fall to third place soon. Third is simply unacceptable. Claire has increased her practice time at home and is contemplating sabotage in an attempt to hold on to her tenuous place in second.

Claire during her golden daysShe is also a Snowboarder turned Skier, traitorous I know. Claire broke her Coccyx bone a while ago which makes it very sore to fall backwards (as often happens in snowboarding), but Skiers generally fall to the side which is much more bearable. For those of you without a proper anatomy course, the Coccyx is the bum bone, one of the less pleasant/convenient bones to break. If Claire can no longer taunt Skiers while on her obnoxious Snowboard, she will become a Skier and look down on the goofy snowboarders with the condescension of someone who perceives their sport as ‘real’ (a major sport in the Olympics) unlike Snowboarding whose highlights generally come from the X Games, putting it in the same realm of legitimacy as Skateboarding.

Claire also seems to be in the running for youngest family genealogist. Yes, Claire tends her family tree. While others wait until they have children (and more likely grandchildren) to start mapping their family tree, Claire has gotten a head-start and is actively researching her family’s background. No word yet on how the patchwork quilt and needlepoint is progressing, it is funny to think this all started because told her she was related to Charlemagne. I don't know what this is, but I'm told it's very coolOh Claire, aren’t we all?

One battle that Claire doesn’t seem to be winning at the moment (though we’re all sure she’ll triumph in the end) is her fight against her house. Claire is trying to sell her house. In the process of selling this house, she has made a myriad of DIY improvements which include but are not limited to: knocking down walls, stripping walls, smoothing and painting walls, adding skirting etc. This house appears to have become the bane of her life. Claire used to enjoy a bit of DIY, now she dreads it as this has proved to be a traumatic experience. Once she sells the place maybe Claire should rent….somewhere furnished.

And finally, have you heard about the Web Application’s Murder Mystery Night? Claire is very excited; I would not be surprised if there is some sort of mad dash to find out who is the killer the quickest, which does not preclude manic accusations and wild theories. It promises to be great event, but Claire….who will watch the Georges while you’re gone?