8 out of 10 cats agree: Cheryl is a good owner

Jack Simpson

Head of Marketing and Communications

Clapton is god

Cheryl is this week’s profile and I am very excited to sink my teeth into my first Project Manager profile. Cheryl is one of the longest serving PMs at Web Applications and I am so happy she virtually volunteered this week. Let’s begin.

Like I said Cheryl has been here a long time, nearly four years. As a Project Manager some of her jobs include, but are not limited to, liaising with clients, getting their requirements, planning, managing the development of projects, and desperately trying to keep the developers in line and on task.

An average day for Cheryl starts out with sorting and responding to emails, writing specs, planning projects, pre-sales all with the possibility of a fit of giggles. The days Cheryl really enjoys are the ones where she gets to go to exhibitions; especially exhibitions where she has the opportunity to show off her marquee-building skills. Now, Cheryl may have had issues with erecting marquees in the past, but she has learned from her mistakes and is now a master of the art. Cheryl went to The Lawns Show near Hull last year and Alistair is poised to be attending instead of her this year, but maybe, now that Cheryl’s true feelings are known, she will be allowed to attend the three day event – if not instead of Alistair then alongside him. May hope forever flourish.

Lily the catCheryl is known around the office for her great rapport with her colleagues. In this I’m perfectly serious. Cheryl is one of the most helpful people around the office whenever I need something explained and is always extremely patient with me; part of this (aside from being naturally sweet tempered) must be due to the fact that at one time or another, Cheryl has had nearly every developer in the office on her team. Most recently she had Rob C. and Guy on her team until Alistair started and she had Steve Elliott on her team until Sara started, so now she is left with Rob L. and Shaun. When asked what her favourite part of working at Web Applications was, Cheryl was quick to reply it was the people she worked with. Well, I say quick to reply, it came after a short rant about how it certainly wasn’t her commute, but after that was over it was definitely her colleagues. Though to be fair, of course it’s her colleagues; in what other office could you find superheroes, super programmers and a truly super Concorde pilot? I rest my case.

As wonderful as Cheryl is around the office, I do have one warning for those who don’t know her: under no circumstances should you let Cheryl borrow your car. Ever. Cheryl has a history of what can only be described as ‘vehicular mishaps’. She has been known to use the company car from time to time for client visits and the like, so when Web Applications recently acquired a new company car I was curious why Cheryl instantly wanted to know if the car had parking sensors. She says it’s just because the car looks big – and while I accept that it is an estate, it is certainly nothing compared to what I would consider a large car, like a Land Rover or something. I remain somewhat dubious of Cheryl’s parking skills. This might sound cynical, and indeed it would be except for the fact that Cheryl put petrol in the last company car – which would not have been a problem had the car not run on diesel. At best this is a speckled past, though we’re all willing to forgive it. Cheryl tries to excuse this brand of silliness by declaiming the cleverest people have the least common sense. Sure Cheryl, sure.

When it comes to media I had an interesting conversation with Cheryl about James Bond. It was decided that, eyes closed, Sean Connery was the best Bond, but, eyes open Daniel Craig took the cake. If a movie were to be made of Cheryl’s life, it would be fitting for the lead to be played by Kate Winslet, good ol’ English Rose that she is. Were Kate to play the part she would have to quickly become a cat person.

Oh yes, Cheryl likes her pets. At the moment she has two cats, Jack and Lily and two rabbits, Mo and Bill. We decided that it takes at least four cats to become a cat lady, so Cheryl remains safely in the ‘normal pet owner’ range of the spectrum. That, however, does not mean Cheryl isn’t a teensy bit batty when it comes to her fluffy friends. She once had a cat who could speak. Yes, really. The idea of her cats speaking is nothing compared to the hilarity of Cheryl’s impression of the cat speaking. Alf the cat had a three word vocabulary consisting of Alf, No and Out. She insists that this is perfectly sane because Fern Cotton also has a cat who can speak, it can say ‘hello’. Now, I did a search in