SuperJeff? Or BatJeff?

Jack Simpson

Head of Marketing and Communications

I know it was you, Fredo.

There are a lot of things that can be said about Jeff. He’s a highly valued member of the Web Applications’ team, some might say the Superman of Services, and if you add a bit of speculation with conjecture and sprinkle with a hint of fantasy you may find Jeff has a secret admirer…but whom!

Let’s save the fun stuff for later and start with the facts. Jeff is a Senior Engineer working in Support Services. He’s been with Web Applications for nearly three years and spends his days overlooking releases, checking the support box and delegating to John (a new recruit)…and sometimes to Bob. He is the head of his team (very impressive) which consists of him and John (which is less impressive) but it seems he pretty much helps everyone out. I’m told he comes to the rescue of his peers when unforeseeable events occur; often staying at work late into the night (Was there a Lois to his Superman?). His dedication has been recognized with the premier ‘Pride of WebApps’ Webbie Award, which, if memory serves, is on his mother’s mantle.

There are some questions that must be asked when talking about Jeff; the first is where does he come from? He conveniently moved around quite a bit in his youth, obstructing a possible investigation. Born in Southport he quickly moved to New York City for two years, then returned to Southport before moving home again to Crewe and finally relocated to Manchester for the past six years. It hardly needs to be stated that his background is shrouded in mystery. Add to that the superman costume under his work clothes and ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a story.

The case is, though Jeff is a self-proclaimed Superman, is he perhaps a bit more of a Batman? While I don’t think Clark Kent read many graphic novels (read: comic books) in Smallville, Bruce Wayne may have. I can say with certainty that Jeff is currently into the Kick-Ass series. Clark Kent lived on a farm and then an apartment in Metropolis, but Jeff here might have a Batcave. Jeff has recently made no secret of his additions to the room he has in his house that is devoted to workout equipment. His latest acquisition is a Slam Man, a high-tech training device that improves your speed, agility and response time when fighting (crime). I don’t think Superman ever really trained but Batman sure did. In addition to this, Jeff also has a cycling machine, a rowing machine and likes indoor climbing and snowboarding. High speed and unobtrusive forms of transport great for surprise attacks, could these be in preparation for a new version of the Batmobile? The jury remains out. Perhaps it is not Lois we are looking for, but Rachel Dawes (the Maggie Gyllenhaal version, not Katie Holmes, let’s be kind).

In addition to this, Jeff is rather cultured. He enjoys reading and going to movies. While they may not be art house flicks, I don’t think it’ll come as a surprise that he watches a lot of martial arts films and comedy (at times both at once). So the question remains, who is the secret admirer? I cannot reveal my sources, so let’s just say someone made it known to me, using the words ‘love’ and ‘Jeff’ side by side in the same sentence. You may speculate amongst yourselves.

So what does Jeff do when not saving the office and (possibly) fighting crime? In the near future he may team up with Robin, I mean Steve Morgan, and play a little Ultimate Frisbee. Batman was never scared of a little competition. Sure he may not, at the moment, know how to play Ultimate Frisbee, but I’m sure a few rounds on the Slam Man will give him all the preparation he needs. Just remember Jeff, start with two hand catches.