Kris “Carnage Creator” Cartwright: Big Brain Academy Champion

Jack Simpson

Head of Marketing and Communications

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Kris “Carnage Creator” Cartwright proved himself victorious against his fellow finalists, Ragin’ Robin Lester and Safder “Smasher” Iqbal in Thursday’s heart-stopping final of Big Brain Academy.

Before I embark on any attempt at post-match analysis of the Big Brain Academy Final Extravaganza, let me enlighten readers as to the scoring system that we eventually employed to establish our Champion. With three semi-final matches breeding three finalists, there wasn’t much wiggle-room. We eventually decided that all finalists would play each other in three rounds of Big Brain Academy and whoever won both of their matches would be the champion. In the event of a three-way tie, we would turn to the finalists’ match percentages (which are based on speed and correct answers) to determine who was most successful.

The extravaganza kicked off in the spacious realms of the Web Applications upstairs boardroom with a match between Ragin’ and Smasher – a nail-biting battle ensued, with Ragin’ narrowly claiming the match as his own in what would be the closest match of the final. Just one win against the Carnage Creator would see Ragin’ soaring to victory.

The second round swiftly commenced: Ragin’ vs. Carnage Creator and it certainly delivered everything it promised. Ragin’, still on a high from his recent success; the scent of victory lingering in his nostrils, put up quite a fight against the Carnage Creator. But alas, with the speed and determination of an Olympic Champion, the Carnage Creator struck back and won the round, meaning the outcome of the Big Brain Academy would come down to the Final Round Showdown.

It should be noted that at this stage, Ragin’ Robin politely pointed out that, since he had only won one of his matches and had a lower winning percentage than Smasher, he was out of the running at this early stage. But, ever the sportsman, Ragin’ remained in the boardroom to see which of his former competitors would annihilate the other.

And so, the battle raged on. Remaining competitors Carnage Creator and Smasher came head-to-head in the Final Round Showdown, the match that could decide who would be crowned Champion Extraordinaire. As sweat beads formed and pulses quickened, observers would have been able to hear a pin drop (were it not for the somewhat off-putting game commentary, which made a series of sporadic appearances). But it was the Carnage Creator who strode to the finishing line with ease, leaving Smasher trailing in his wake. We had finally found our Champion!

Condolences to Robin and Safder, both worthy competitors – no one would envy you the task of taking on the Carnage Creator, but you both did so with courage and misplaced optimism. Many congratulations to Kris who, through his skillful play and notably big brain, has stealthily and deservedly obtained ‘All The Glory’ that comes with being the Big Brain Academy Champion!