Ashley wont be joining Destiny's Child this year...

Jack Simpson

Head of Marketing and Communications

I know it was you, Fredo.

Because he’s no survivor, but he’s still stronger than yesterday…

More to the point: Ashley began his time at Web Applications just over a year ago on July 6, 2010. He is a Software Engineer who is currently working on Traveller though who has in the past worked on almost everything else including Mercury, Brease and Babel. If there’s a home-grown product in the vicinity, Ashley has worked on it.

Ashley is on Sara’s Blue team, and has been since he joined! This is a real accomplishment considering how often people move around and switch teams during office reorganisations. Also on his team are Ian, Mark and Kevin. Ashley is a true problem solver at heart and considers that his favourite part of his job. On the other side of the coin he hates ‘ghost’ problems which have no obvious source, in other words, the unsolved problem.

On any given day you’ll find Ashley building Brease reports or working on Traveller. The Blue team developers often go from product to product so this week it’s Traveller, in another week or two it might be Babel again, they are kind of like the roving team, fighting injustice and fixing bugs as they go.

Some may know that Ashley was in a band. For some reason (I couldn’t begin to imagine why) Ashley and his band didn’t perform at the Christmas Party. Perhaps it was because the band primarily played heavy metal, perhaps it was because the band dissolved around the time Ashley left college. Really, who can say. Yes the band focused on Heavy Metal and Progressive Rock (Pink Floyd, Rush etc) – from these two genres I think we can pretty much infer that the lead singer has zero vocal skills. At least not in the traditional definition of what would constitute ‘vocal skills’. I mean I’m sure he was great at what he was singing. Come on has anyone heard that guy’s voice in Rush??? Seriously? Alright, never mind, I’m sure they were wonderful, for the record, Ashley plays Bass Guitar.

Other hobbies include playing football for Manchester United. While Ashley didn’t really come out and say he played for them, let’s look at our facts.

1) He plays ’11 a side’ football
2) He practices in Stretford
3) His team name GM Hurricanes is obviously fake.
4) It is an ‘amateur’ team that has its sponsorship covered. Right.

So, in the end, if you need United tickets go bug Ashley, I’m sure he can hook you up.

I have no doubts about Ashley’s football skills (it isn’t easy to play for Man U), but I do have concerns about his survival skills. Informed he would be stranded on a Desert Island and told he could bring three things, Ashley chose 1) Hammock, 2) Laptop and 3) Bottomless Beer Can. To try to make it so he wouldn’t immediately die, he augmented item number 2 into a “Coconut-powered laptop”. Oh yes, now he’ll be fine. I worry Ashley, I worry.

In the end Ashley has some very Webby traits. When asked what his favourite book was he said ‘No’ because he quite simply doesn’t read. Right then, moving on his favourite movie is Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers, a hit among many webbies. While I don’t see Ashley participating in a series of ‘Survivor’, perhaps Ashley will learn to play the flute and join a Jethro Tull tribute band then play the Christmas Party. Because it would be hilarious.